When you’re a kid, you don’t appreciate the small joys in life, as nearly as you do when you’re older. Yet, you seemed to find more of those joys then than you do now. Why is that?
My take on it is it’s all about a choice you make in a span of a second, whether you realize that choice at the moment or even at all. We all get to choose.
An example of this would be, fireworks. To me, fireworks are this sort of mysteriously unexplainable form of joy. To put it simply, it’s beautiful. They’re beautiful. That’s it. That’s what I think of them. But it’s because I have a special awareness of them and ultimately choose to see them and describe them this way. The reason why a small joy like this holds so much mystery to it is that we don’t even know we’re enjoying it until we’re aware of this joy. It’s why it can be so hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it. With this awareness, you have a choice, and you make this choice as fast as you are aware of your enjoyment.
I’ll set it up here:
It’s the fourth of July, I’m in a park, people are barbequing, They’re having a good time talking and laughing. Then fireworks start to go off. I’m standing there, in the middle of smiling faces and gasping expressions while people point to the sky. Suddenly I’m staring up at the sky, looking at all the pretty colors intertwining with one another. It’s amazing; that fireworks exist and that I get to experience this. I’m smiling, content with the view. At this point, I’m aware that this is making me feel joy. In this same second, I can choose to walk away and say, “It’s not that wonderful”, and not acknowledge the joy. Or I can continue to stand there, soaking in the moment, and continue to keep enjoying it. Both choices are simple and easy, but which one sounds more fun? Which one sounds like a good memory?
When we’re young, we don’t go looking for these small joys; they’re just there and it’s because we’re more open and accepting and allowing ourselves to have this joy.
The reason I said we appreciate the small things when we’re older more than when we’re younger is simply because of this. We think it’s easier for kids to find joy in small things because they’re kids. As we grow older we find ourselves constantly looking for the small things to enjoy because it’s harder to do. But when we do, we become more and more grateful for it because it didn’t just fall into our laps. We had to search and prey and discover it ourselves. We had to take that extra step to accept something as joyful.
This is the reality though;
We as people are conditioned to believe that it’s easier to find joy when we’re younger than when we’re older because of what we’re taught; that kids have it easier. Because they don’t pay bills or have a car payment or even a job. All they have to do is play and go to school, get good grades and behave, and do as their parents and teachers and basically, anyone older than them say with no questions asked. Oh and don’t forget the way they have to deal with their newfound emotions and figuring out what’s true and what lies they’ve been told, and growing pains, physically and mentally, and trying to discover who they are, all while trying to answer the question they constantly are being asked which is: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
This is all they have to face and deal with. It’s all that’s expected of them. So they should be happy, right? They should be happy because they don’t have to deal with the single most problem adults run into; the core of every ounce of our worry; money.
We tell kids to appreciate what they have and to enjoy the small things because we’ve convinced ourselves that we don’t have that anymore. We’ve convinced ourselves that when we’re older, we lose that sense of joy and that we could never have it back because of how much “harder” our life is compared to theirs.
As a kid, I was taught this exact thing. I was told, “What do you have to be sad about? You don’t have to pay bills. You have it easy. You have nothing to worry about.” I was taught that my negative emotions meant I was being ungrateful, and my positive ones meant I was happy. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Same with the idea that only kids can find joy in the simplest things. It all goes back to awareness and choice.
We tell kids that they have to eat their vegetables because it’s good for them, and assure them that complaining about doing so won’t matter because they still have to eat them, because of the benefits. But why can’t we do the same when it comes to our complaints and worries? Sure, they’re on a much larger scale, but it’s still just a worry at the end of the day. We don’t give them a choice to eat their veggies; they just have to eat them. Just like when we have to pay bills. We know we have to pay them because if we don’t then we don’t have a place to live. We know we have to work because if we don’t then we can’t make money to pay those bills. We don’t have a choice to not do it. The only thing about it that we can choose is how much we complain about it; how much we let it consume us every day.
This goes the same with joy. We have the power to choose whether or not to fully let ourselves enjoy something. The most beautiful thing about this is that we get to choose what little joys we let into our daily lives, rather than always complaining about our worries.
One of my own daily little joys is no shocker here, coffee. I’m aware it brings me joy, and I’m aware of this simply because I choose to let it bring me joy. I choose to wake up every morning and drink it because I know that whatever my day is like the rest of the time, I always have that little joy to wake up to and appreciate.
I’m able to have coffee every morning because of money. So I focus on all the good things I am able to get and enjoy, instead of focusing on all the things I have to pay for.
I’m choosing that, and you can too.
There’re some things we can’t choose, but there’re a lot of things we can. Figuring out what it is that we want to choose can be hard, but it can also be the easiest thing we get to do, and it definitely can make you feel powerful to be able to.
Joy, especially small joy, comes naturally to all of us, no matter what age we are. The second we’re aware of this is the second we get to either choose it or walk away. There’s joy in every little thing around us. All we have to do is choose to accept it into our lives.
XOXO RAYNE ~~~